


Heavy In Your Arms

by Lyswenn



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, F/F, Roommates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-06
Updated: 2015-08-06
Packaged: 2018-04-13 07:37:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,589
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4513485
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lyswenn/pseuds/Lyswenn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After getting fired from her job, 17-year-old Ymir has no choice but to go back to school and move to the dorms. She has to share her everyday life with three other teenagers - including a certain Krista, whose fake smile intrigues her greatly. Before she knows it, she gets caught in one question: "What's behind it?". Yumikuri. Possibly triggering.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Heavy In Your Arms

**Author's Note:**

> Hello and thank you for clicking on this fanfiction!
> 
> Before you start reading, I have a few things to warn you about:
> 
> 1 - SOME CHAPTERS WILL BE TRIGGERING. I decided not to use trigger warnings for the sake of not spoiling the story. I will not specify what could be triggering, so please proceed at your own caution.
> 
> 2 - This fanfiction is mainly about Ymir and Krista. There might be other side pairings, but please note that mostly every character is straight for the sake of realism.
> 
> 3 - I am not a native English speaker, and this fanfiction is definitely the biggest English project I ever had. I am really planning on making this fanfiction the best it could possibly be, so I apologize for the slow updates. Still, I might mistakes here and there, so feel free to comment and tell me how I could improve!
> 
> Now that's over with, I hope you enjoy!

CHAPTER 1: CHOICES

* * *

 

The breeze danced through the air, sending a shiver down Ymir’s spin. Her hair swayed on both sides of her face as she walked alongside the road, dragging her grey suitcase behind her, its wheels rattling over the cold hard ground.

She could have worn a sweater, a pull-over, a jacket, anything – but she had been deeply convinced that September wasn’t cold enough to require any extra clothing. Well, September proved her wrong. The sun was setting, beginning its journey down the other side of the globe, depriving the sky of its blue and her body from an important source of heat.

 _Damn, I’m an idiot_ , she thought to herself as another shiver ran its course through her limbs.

Eager to find shelter and warmth, she pushed her legs further, walking past another teenager. Actually, she noticed that as she got closer to the gates, she encountered more of those. Loud, walking bodies, with their squeaky voices.

She glanced at the iron gates, slightly impressed at how tall they actually were – and she wasn’t exactly a small person, quite in the opposite in fact. If the cold wasn’t enough of a reason to move on, the teenage boy behind her was. He apparently wasn’t patient enough, or maybe he was simply not aware of his surroundings, either way, he bumped into Ymir, not caring enough to actually _apologize_.

_Pfft, it’s not like I wanted to hear his high-pitched, prepubescent voice anyway._

She kept on walking, her fist clenched on the piece of paper she was holding. All the reasons why she had dropped school flashed through her mind, as if taunting her to turn around and go back home – but she recalled painfully not having a “home” to call hers anymore. If she had, she certainly wouldn’t be there, at school.

She hated school. She hated the very thought, the very concept of it.

She dropped out as soon as she had reached the age of sixteen, eager to start a life of independence. Even though she only worked in a grocery store and her pay was miserable, she felt glad to be the only person she had to thank in the evenings – or whatever damn hour she fancied – when she ate her noodles while sitting miserably on her dear sofa. It was the freedom she had always yearned for. Unfortunately, life had never been a fair judge, it would never give back what it took or repay for the damages, no, life had to screw up the few _actual_ moments of happiness it ever gave her. Life was a selfish bastard.

So there she was, in high school, after two years free of homework, teachers, and most importantly – teenagers.

School was, to her, just a huge zoo, filled with miserable monkey-kids, swarming into the buildings like fucking sheep, pestering like magpies about teachers they had yet to know about, apparently confident that they’ll succeed in the outside world, achieve great successes by simply waking up in the mornings. She hated them all. She almost wanted to allow herself to _hope_ high school would be somewhat different than her middle school years, but she knew she couldn’t afford to be delusional, else she wouldn’t be Ymir.

“Awwwh, why is summer already over? Why can’t it last one more month?”

And here came the senseless chatters. Damn, she hoped she had bought ear-plugs on the way.

“My skin’s already turning white… D’you think the teachers will let us tan in the classrooms?”

“Ha, no chance. Have you heard of Brzenka? Heard she was insane. She’d probably throw a book at you or something.”

“Awh come on, it’s high school, where’s our freedom?”

Trying her hardest to push the idiotic conversation out of her mind, she kept walking, and soon noticed two signboards.

SCHOOL.

DORMITORIES.

Her amber eyes glanced at the piece of paper in her hand. “New students are to meet in the dormitory hall”, it said, after a bunch of other pointless crap. Shrugging, she merely followed the other teenagers in front of her, soon stepping into what appeared to be the dormitory hall. Small groups and bigger groups of people were already present, forming a consistent mass of people.

“Hey, have you heard? Apparently there’s a new English teacher, I heard she was super-hot!”

“Are you sure? I thought there was only one teacher for both English and literature…”

“Yeah, dunno where they found her. Who would want to work here anyway?”

She walked to the extreme side of a room, near a wall. It took her a few seconds to notice there weren’t any heaters in the room. She sighed heavily, stuffing her paper in the back pocket of her jeans before turning around to face the small crowd, her shoulder leaning on the wall as she crossed her arms over her chest.

At the far end of the room, behind a desk, stood three adults. Two men – one of them was so incredibly short she initially thought he was sitting – were exchanging a few words, glancing at the other students from time to time. The woman was looking through a pile of paper calmly, nodding to herself as she read through it. Ymir could only see her dark blonde hair, as her head was tilted forward.

“Oh gosh, I hope we get to share a room, I really don’t wanna end up with Hannah. She still won’t shut up about Franz. But guess what? They’re not even dating!”

“No fucking way! At this rate, he’ll find another chick before any of them confesses.”

“Nah, I dunno what he sees in her, but he’s completely head over heels for her. Geez…”

Ymir rolled her eyes, hardly believing how cliché these girls were. She despised drama, and completely _loathed_ the romance part. Nothing made her want to face-palm more than silly girls complaining about their boyfriends and whatnot.

She turned her head away from the drama, her stare fixed on the outside. Only four students were still out in the cold – seemingly not bothered by their tardiness in the slightest.

_So, most of the students are here already…_

She analyzed the crowd once again. Despite how loud it actually was, she realized she expected the hall to be fuller than this – she remembered there were more students at her previous school. Nevertheless, she was grateful that no more student would pollute her ears with gossips she had no interest in.

“Attention please!”

The loud voice filled the room, putting an end to all conversations – well, most of them.

The man in the center – a tall, bulky man – stood proudly, forcing the most persistent students to remain quiet, with the mere force of his stare. If not for his questionable haircut and ridiculously thick eyebrows, Ymir would have _almost_ felt intimidated.

“Welcome to St Maria’s Academy. My name is Erwin Smith. As you may now, I am the vice principal of this school, as well as a history teacher.” He paused and nodded, for whatever reason. “All of you here have been allowed to stay at the school dormitories. You will share your room with three other students. We cannot change your roommates, so please try to get along.”

Ymir tensed up. She swallowed, painfully, her throat clearly unhappy with the action. She knew the conditions. She had prepared herself, yet being so close to actually meeting the ones with whom she’ll share her room was an entirely different matter.

Around her, chatters began anew. Students grabbing each other’s arms, sending silent – and not so silent – prayers asking to be in the same room. Ymir, along with a few others, began staring at every student in the room, as if their facial features would give away which one will be her dorm mates.

“Silence please!” Smith’s voice rose again. “Now. As you’ve seen on your way here, the other building is the school, where you’ll be attending classes. Tomorrow at eight, I expect you to be in the main hall. The teachers will lead you to the cafeteria, where you’ll have breakfast, after which you’ll be sorted into your class.”

He clapped his hands, a twisted smile finding its way on his lips.

“You will now be assigned to your rooms. The boys will go with Mr. Ackerman”, he raised an arm to point at the man on his left, “while the girls will go with Ms. Ral.”

“That’s the one I was talking about!” whispered a boy near Ymir.

“Tsk, shut up”, a girl threw at him, which cut his friend’s incoming reply.

Neither of them had time to retort anything, as they were pushed towards the short, moody man. Ymir eyed the girl – she had blonde hair and a frown so deep it seemed permanently carved on her face.  
She turned her eyes away from her to lock them on “Ms. Ral”. In addition to her medium, dark blonde hair, Ymir saw her amber eyes scanning through the exclusively female mass.

 _Well, she_ is _cute, I’ll give him that._

“Hello everyone! As you’ve heard, I am Ms. Ral”, she said, while offering a wavering smile.

_She looks uncomfortable. Probably her first time doing all that crap._

“I will teach English at this school starting this year, but let’s save this for later. I will now call every group, when you hear your name, please step in and stay with your group until the call is over. Then I’ll show you the way to your dormitories and you’ll be free to empty your suitcases!”

She cleared her throat, speaking a little louder.

“Mikasa Ackerman, Mina Carolina, Hannah Diamant and Anka Rheinberger.”

As the call began, Ymir released a painful sigh, locking eyes with the floor. Right as she noticed how surprisingly clean it was, a loud gasp reached her right ear and forced her to look up. She met brown eyes, staring back at her in awe.

“I’ve seen you before!” the girl suddenly exclaimed.

Ymir allowed herself to take a close look at the disturbance. She had brown hair, tied up in a high ponytail. Tight white pants and a navy jacket embraced her extravagant feminine features – she had _a lot_ more curves than Ymir ever had, though it couldn’t really be called a great accomplishment, considering how painfully flat Ymir was. Not that she cared, anyway.

Ymir cocked an eyebrow arrogantly, forcing her lips into a perfectly straight line.

“In this tiny-ass town, the opposite would’ve surprised me”, she shot.

In truth, she remembered her – a glutton who kept buying more food than her arms could hold, apparently she was stuffing her stomach more than her brains, as she never was smart enough to actually use a small bag to carry all her damn groceries. Well, Ymir couldn’t blame her, those damn bags were expensive, especially considering how shitty they actually were.

“What’s your name?” the girl inquired, Ymir’s remark visibly flying right over her head.

_She came to the store every damn day for two months and she can’t remember my fucking face? Wow._

“Ymir”, she replied, shrugging at her thoughts.

“Ya-mur?”

“No, Ymir.”

“Yu-mur?”

And this was exactly why Ymir avoided introductions as much as society allowed her to. Ever since she was a kid, she had learn to loathe every sentence beginning with “my name is” or “I am”. It always took _at least_ three damn “no, it’s Ymir” before anyone could even _begin_ to pronounce it correctly – that is, if she blacked out half of the word.

She sighed, rubbing a palm over her already aching forehead.

“It’s _Ymir_ ”, she repeated, talking as slowly as humanly possible.

“Nice to meet you, Yee-mur!” the girl nodded rapidly, apparently convinced she got it right. “My name is Sasha.”

_Well, at least her name isn’t as complicated and shitty as mine._

“Yeah, same.”

‘Sasha’ offered her a bright smile, her eyelid shaking ever so briefly – Ymir didn’t have to blink to see the uneasiness behind the girl’s sheepish smile. From what she had gathered so far, the girl was fairly new to this town, unless she was incapable of buying food for herself two months prior. Either way, Ymir never saw her before the summer.

_This girl is new here._

Judging by how she instantly went to talk to a somewhat stranger – it wasn’t hard to glue the pieces together.

But Ral’s voice interrupted her train of thought.

“Sasha Braus, Krista Lenz, Annie Leonhart and… Yu…mir… huh…”

Sasha smiled brightly, performing a little jump in front of Ymir.

“Yee-mur! We’re together!” she beamed at her again. “What a relief!”

The girl trotted happily in front of Ms. Ral, while Ymir released a painful sigh, ignoring the slight shivering of her shoulders as she detached herself from the wall. She grabbed the handle of the suitcase, holding it tightly to force control back into her body.

The back of her mind kept whispering “at least I know someone”, as if the concept would reassure her but she forced the thought out of her skull as soon as it entered – she wasn’t here to make acquaintances. She was here because she had no other choice. Why would she be nervous?

After a few heavy breathes, she began walking towards her English teacher, who looked questioningly at the vice principal. He simply nodded, urging her to move on. Ymir sighed.

“Yu-mir?” she repeated.

“That’s Ymir, but yeah”, she said as she stepped in front of her.

The woman apologized briefly before pointing to her right.

And, as if it were the most instinctive thing to do in this moment, Ymir turned her head.

Three people, were standing there.

Three suitcases by their side.

For a brief moment, her heart seemed to get stuck in her throat, blocking any air from filling her lungs. She had to force three deep breaths inside to remain calm. She gulped as discretely as her throat could, stepping towards them with her own valise, clearing the way for the students that had yet to be called.

She noticed Sasha first, then she glanced at the two remaining girls.

“Oh, you’re the moody chick!”

The girl with the frown snorted, rolling her eyes in exasperation. Only then Ymir noticed how peculiar her nose was. She was also extremely short compared to Ymir, but the girl never hesitated when she locked her azure gaze on her, almost defiantly.

“It’s ‘Annie’ on my ID card.”

Sasha cleared her throat.

“Hello Annie, my name’s Sasha! And this tall grumpy girl is Yee-mur.”

“It’s _Ymir_ ”, the tall girl whispered, exasperated.

Deciding that it was wiser to give up on preventing the massacre of her name, she looked at the blonde girl beside them, who could only be “Krista Lenz”. She looked down. _Down_. She had noticed, when she arrived, that the two blonde girls were quite short, but what suddenly struck her was how _actually fucking short_ this one was.

“Hey, are you lost? It’s not elementary school here, y’know?”

Her question was only half-sarcastic. The girl almost looked like a doll, with her enormous blue eyes scanning through the crowd, examining every inches of the walls, seemingly amazed by her new environment. She looked exactly like a child during Christmas times, fascinated by absolutely everything.

The blonde seemed to acknowledge her presence only after she had spoken, blinking a couple of times as her eyes still tried to stray away from the amber ones’.

“I’m fifteen.”

Her statement was quiet, yet certain.

“Seriously? You look ten”, Ymir exclaimed, an exaggerated amount of shock poured into her voice.

The girl smiled, as if it were the most natural thing to do - as if it wasn’t the weirdest thing she could have done.

“So, your name is Ymir?” she asked, almost too innocently to be sincere.

“Thank you students for your patience!” Ms. Ral suddenly exclaimed. “If you would please follow me, I’ll show you your rooms.”

Ymir stared at the incredibly short girl before she grabbed her suitcase and spun on her heels.

The four of them silently followed the teacher into the stairs – climbing them showed to be a difficult task for every student, struggling to choose between holding their valises in their arms and simply lifting them up. Ymir noticed “Krista” was having a particularly hard time with it, her small frame almost falling back under the weight in her arms. Annie was apparently assigned to be the one making sure she wouldn’t fall down.

Two sets of stairs later, after a few students were assigned to their rooms in the first floor, the smaller group stepped into a long corridor. It looked very much like the previous one – just two walls facing one other, doors carved into them, marked by numbers. Students were called and gave one number, indicating which room they will stay in.

“Sasha Braus’s group, room 116.”

Room 116 was, probably like any other room, quite spacious. The farthest wall, facing them, was decorated by a gigantic window, two bunk-beds on each side of it, occupying the two angles. A massive desk rested in between them, right in the middle of the room. Four chairs were surrounding it, and considering the existence of a cafeteria, Ymir figured they would use the table for work rather than dinners.

Before any of them could further investigate, Sasha ran past the three of them, jumping on the top bunk bed next to the wall on their right. Apparently, no ladder was needed for the operation.

“This one’s mine!” she screamed, already patting the pillow next to her. She then looked at the three other girls. “I mean, if you have no objection.”

“No, it’s alright!” Krista waved, offering her smile.

Annie and Ymir both shrugged, far more interested in the door on their left. They shared a look before Ymir offered her roommate the honor of opening it, using a gesture far too dramatic for what it was worth. Annie simply nodded, her hand reaching for the doorknob.

To no one’s surprise, a bathroom greeted them behind the door. The floor, the ceiling, the walls – everything was white, reflecting the already bright light and effectively blinding them.

_Well, that’s going to be fun in the mornings._

Once she got over the luminosity, she noticed too clean sinks on her right, a large mirror resting on the same wall. On her left, she saw a very simple shower with a solid door, as well as a toilet next to it. All white.

Content with the new information, Ymir returned to the main room, immediately facing an intrigued Krista. The girl had opened a wardrobe. Only then Ymir noticed there were only two.

“Two wardrobes? Aren’t we four?” Annie asked beside her.

“Guess that means we’ll have to share?” Krista tried bashfully, apparently scared the others would disapprove.

Ymir only grunted as an answer. Sharing her everyday life with three other people was enough of an issue – having to actually share furniture with them was beyond her limit of closeness. But she had no other choice.

She dragged her suitcase to the bottom bed on the left side, not bothering to ask whether or not it was okay with her roommates – it was only a bed, and she had better to do than argue about it. She opened her luggage, retrieving a large shirt and loose pants that would suffice for sleep.

“Em, excuse me…” a voice said behind her.

She turned to face the person addressing her, and wasn’t the least surprised when she noticed Krista, playing with her hair awkwardly.

“What do you want?” Ymir asked.

“I was just wondering if I could use the bed above you…” she replied, her voice merely above a whisper.

“Heh?”

“If that’s alright with you, of course.”

A bit taken aback by the strange question, Ymir nodded, eyes fixed on her.

“Thank you!”

She beamed at her. Ymir noticed how her jaw strangely clenched, how she bit her lips before quickly humidifying them, as if to pretend her teeth were never there. Ymir saw the exact same thing she observed in Sasha’s smile.

The girl was so obviously desperate for approval. Her eyes were begging for it. “Please like me” they screamed.

It was painful to watch.

“Whatever.”

Grabbing her two pieces of clothing, she stepped into the bathroom, before locking the door behind her and resting her back on it. Finally alone, she released yet another heavy sigh.

She didn’t want to empty her luggage, she didn’t want to use the wardrobe – she didn’t want to share it either. She didn’t want to admit that this place was now her “home”. That the small yet cozy apartment she used to live in was now undeniably behind her. Someone else was probably living there already. Someone else probably replaced her behind the counter in the grocery store. Someone was working, there, earning the money she used to receive.

She sold her table, her chairs, her TV, even her beloved sofa on which she slept every damn night. Well, at least she could get some money out of the sales, but the thought of someone using _what she had earned for herself_ was unbearable, even more so when she was stuck with stupid bunk-bed.

 The life outside those walls was continuing its course, and she was stuck inside, yet life didn’t care.  She was left with that nearly forgotten uncertainty that she’ll ever succeed.

_It’s almost like school automatically makes you doubt your future._

She laughed quietly to herself.

She knew she had no choice.


End file.
